Archive for July, 2008

Minsan…

Posted in Rambles, Random thoughts, Uncategorized on July 30, 2008 by mesmerizedwithgreen

Sabi nila dahil sa andami ko naiisip, di ko ma-express nang mabuti.
Parang ngayun, andami ko naiisip, andami ko gusto isulat at i-share kaso, mas mabilis kasi yung mga naiisip ko kesa sa pagtype ko eh, tapos sa sobrang dami nang naiisip ko na gusto kong sabihin,nagiging magulo ako kausap.
In short, alam ko siya, pero di ko sya maipaliwanag nang maayos kasi nagkakandabuhol.

Naisip ko nga minsan, sana meron isang device or machine na kapag may naiisip ka tapos gusto mo isulat, press mo lang yung ON button, tapos OFF pag ayaw mo na maisulat yung nasa isip mo, after nun, babasahin mo yung naisulat nung machine out of what you have thought then ma-cconstruct mo na sya nang maayos kasi massummarize mo lahat yung naisip mo, mkakapagconclude ka.
Pero pwede din na hindi….
- – - – - – - – -* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * – - – - – - – - – - – – - – - – - – - – - – – - -
Minsan, maganda magkaroon nang something to look forward to, kasi nagkakaroon ka nang inspiration. Ewan ko lang sa iba ha, pero kasi ako ganun eh. Parang iniisip ko na yung something na yun eh makakarelieve nang stress ko or kung anu man ang aking pinagkakahirapan.

- – - – - – - – - – - – -* * * * * * * * * * * * * *- – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – -
Minsan din, di ka makatulog sa di maipaliwanag na dahilan, kagaya ngayun…
*********************************************************************
Minsan, gusto mo i-share ang isang kwento, pangyayari sa buhay or sikreto mo pero naiisip mo baka di naman ma-appreciate or di makarelate yung tao na pagsasabihan mo or baka di naman interesado or baka di siya marunong magtago nang sikreto or baka spy sya nang kung sinuman na involved dun sa sikreto.
((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((
Minsan, kahit pinipilit mo makita si LORD sa kapwa mo, kung ang pangit naman nang ugali nang tao na yun and yung mga actions and words nya ay di naman maka-Diyos, ang hirap.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Minsan, kahit gusto mo makipag-usap, wala kang alam sabihin dun sa tao, nakatingin ka lang sa YM ID nya… wishing na sana, sana andito na lang siya. Yung tipong kahit di kayo mag-usap at tahimik lang kayo, alam nyo iniisip nang isa’t isa, yung kuntento kana na magkasama lang kayo.
——————————————————————————————
Minsan, may mga bagay na natatakot kang aminin sa sarili mo.
/////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
Minsan nakakasawa maging mabait, masunurin na bata, matalino, responsable, maalalahanin, sweet at kung anu ano pa.
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
Minsan, kahit na sobrang dami mo na na-isulat, parang pakiramdam mo di pa sapat para mailabas lahat nang gusto mo sabihin.
################################################################
Minsan, kahit sobrang gulo at labo nang posts mo, meron pa ring isang tao na makakarelate sa’yo.
???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
At higit sa lahat, minsan, kahit di mo isulat lahat yan, maiisip mo, di lang ikaw ang may mga ganyang minsan sa buhay. Lahat tayo.
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
Kaya minsan, imbes na magpuyat ka sa pagsusulat, matulog ka na lang…
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
At isa pang pahabol na minsan, Minsan, kahit wala kang karapatan na makialam sa buhay nang iba, nangegealam ka, kasi, its either interesado ka sa taong yun or chismosa ka lang talaga or di naman chismosa pero naiintriga ka kasi may nakikita kang something between sa dalawang tao na yun na nakakaintriga talaga,hehehe.
<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Minsan, kahit sinabi mong tama na, ayoko na, sige ka pa rin, tipong habang sinabi mo na last na lang, e dun mo lalong gusto pa..
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Adik na ata ako…MINSAN :P

I need an extra boost of “I-belive-you-can-do-it” pyschology medicine

Posted in worries, ドラマ on July 27, 2008 by mesmerizedwithgreen

*sigh* and another *sigh*

Im over reacting about things. I know I can do this, I just need to believe in me.

But seriously, its much easier to believe in you if someone does. I think I just need those “kaya mo yan” from my friends, “agyu mu yan” from my close friends, oh I do miss them and “sus, kaw pa anak, kayang kaya mo yan” from my Father and “agyu mu yan nak” from my mom…

*sigh* its not bad to cry once in a while right? ‘coz i think I need one now…

Here its comes…

I do keep my promises :p

Posted in Rambles, complaints on July 21, 2008 by mesmerizedwithgreen


That’s all…

Now I can sleep….

Damn! I hate promises…

*wink* atleast I kept mine…

Vincent, now you can view all your pics, damn! happy?

Nah, I’m just kidding, We both knew I want to upload them too :p

Odaisuki no supo-tsu ha…

Posted in Kilig Moments on July 13, 2008 by mesmerizedwithgreen


Yiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Kinikilig ako sobra!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Waaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

“If I should die before I wake it’s ‘coz you took my breath away”

Got the chance to play badminton with Y-san but only for 2 rounds, too bad, I’d wanted to play with him straight for 3 hours if I’d have the chance, weeeeeeee……..
It’s soooooooo great! Yeah!

Now there’s one more reason why badminton is my favorite sport, ahihihi;)
I hope he’d play with us again, even though his racket, which according to my estimation costs 16K yen was broken:( Too bad.

He really played good.;) I think I love him. Nah, just kidding:p

Jaa, got to take a bath….

Have you ever, in any way, been betrayed by someone you trusted?

Posted in 思い出す, 痛心 - heartache on July 11, 2008 by mesmerizedwithgreen


Came across this while blog-hopping.
And it brought back memories, painful ones that I can still feel how it was.
I can still shed a tear or two every time I remember it.

Until now, I cannot say that I completely forgive the deed, but the person, I totally forgave her.
I know its not entirely her fault, I was also to blame for what happened, maybe because I trusted her too much, I thought she was my friend until the end, I thought that she understood me. But then I was wrong, very very wrong in that case.
I admit I had a tendency of neglecting people, especially when I’m busy and when I feel that they don’t like me or the people I hang out with.
Basically that’s my principle, “If you don’t like me, then I don’t like you, If I don’t like you, then there’s nothing in this world that can make me like you”.

Way back in college,we usually enrolled together so we can get the same block, but that semester, we did not, so basically we’re not blockmates anymore,becasuse of that,I gained new friends which I think she doesn’t like but who I like to hang out.
Even so, we continued to be friends, I still confided to her, she still confided to me,but we never hang out as much as before. I tried to make her join me and my new friends, but she seemed aloof with them, so I did not force her, its not my nature as I said.
And so it goes, until that day, that day when I found out she betrayed me,that all the things I confided on her was used against me. (I will not elaborate what it was. It was just so complicated, nonsense thing that her new friends made a big issue out of.)
I don’t know what their intentions are of doing that.
It was so painful, I never dreamed I will be put on such a situation.
I thought she was my ally, I thought i can always depend on her, but once again, I was so wrong. I was so naive, gullible I might say.
I didn’t saw it coming, it was really like a big blow that I wasn’t prepared to take and it hit me really hard.
After all the chaos, after all the damage have been done and through, when we had this talk, that time I allowed myself to cry so hard in front of all her friends, my friends, and I wasn’t ashamed to show her how hurt I was by what she did, I valued our friendship and trusted her very much.
My mind cannot absorb the fact that it indeed happened.
All the things we have been through had suddenly been forgotten and it pains me.
That time I realized the meaning of “reality bites”. At that time I was bitten.
And I cannot find the ointment to ease the burning sensation of the bite.
It’s so unreal that I have wished it to be just a bad dream or a nightmare perhaps, but it wasn’t.
After that incident, It was never that easy for me to trust anyone. I find it hard to confide to anyone, I was very cautious, I feel like I cannot trust anyone anymore.

But now, I believe I am still capable of trusting but I tend to be cautious. I guess the bite leaves a scar. Because I didn’t used an ointment with anti-scar.

Speechless…

Posted in Rambles, laziness, needs, wants, wrong spellings on July 9, 2008 by mesmerizedwithgreen


I’m lazy to write anything but I want to post something.
Maybe because I want to let all of you know that I’m here.
I want my existence to be felt.

This is what I want you to know…
IM ALIVE! DON’T IGNORE ME! IM NOT INVISIBLE!
(although im always invisible in YM or always busy, please, once in a while disturb me, talk to me but not about work, im begging you)

I MISS YOU ALL! :(
You know who you are, I wish I can always talk to you guys, im so sorry for all my shortcomings*sigh*

Im really lazy to write, see? I havn’t even reached 200words according to the word count.
*another sigh*

Find the error, I can’t!

Posted in Quiz, 問題 - mondai - questions on July 7, 2008 by mesmerizedwithgreen


Find the error : ) 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20

Did you know that 80% of UCDS students could not find the error above? Repost this with the title “Find the error, its impossible”, and when you click “Submit Post”, the answer will be really obvious.

Eh ayoko i-repost sa prendster at ayoko din yung title, bakit ba?! di ako utu-uto,bhelat!:p hahaha!

P.S.
First day alone(w/out sempai) natural OT agad:D pero carry naman;) masaya,hehehe.
Today, energy level=70%, inspiration=40%(wow improving;))) perspiration=110%.
Jaa, fighto-oh!;)

And so it goes…

Posted in Uncategorized on July 3, 2008 by mesmerizedwithgreen

Friday again…
Another Farewell party….
Another welcome party….

And so it goes, people come and people go…
Guess I have to get used to this cycle of which was called life…

*sigh*

少し幸福(こうふく)

Posted in Ka-Cornyhan, Random thoughts, ドラマ on July 2, 2008 by mesmerizedwithgreen

Just when I thought I’d be inspiration-less for the rest of my stay here in Japan came a sudden inspiration in the form of a 元かれ*ahem *ahem *ahem, for those of you who can read and understand what it means just keep it to yourself,ayt? hehehe.
Oh yeah, but then I guess I was wrong, because just now, I saw something that tells me, ぜったいない. Stupid of me! Never mind the first two to three lines of this post, *erase*erase*erase, pretend you didn’t read it, and I’ll pretend I didn’t write anything,
It just tells me or rather shows how desperate I am to find that one thing, which I know I can’t.
Or how assuming I was that there is hope for me, with just a simple conversation *sigh.
Forget about the title either.
What can I say?
I’m just a stupid girl who always jumps to conclusions and is so ignorant and naive that I always end up getting more of everything than I could possibly handle, I want to be numb.
This post has gone way too wrong for something that started out as supposedly a cheerful post.
I’m sorry, I just didn’t saw it earlier, I should have seen it coming. I’m lost once again.
Staring… just staring in nothingness. Waiting… but I know there’s nothing to wait for…
Better sleep now.

Half empty, half full

Posted in Uncategorized on July 1, 2008 by mesmerizedwithgreen

Literally speaking, I’m quite full today ‘coz I consumed a lot of unnecessary calories. Whew!
No more diet???
This is bad!.
Lately, I’ve been losing interest and will power to continue with my diet plans.*sigh…
Been feeling down, but not to the point of being depressed. There’s just a lot of thoughts going on, anxiety I might say. Next week would be my first week(talk about redundancy)without my sempai, honestly it scares me to death, but I know I need to learn how to stand on my own feet. Make decisions on my own and take responsibility for those decisions made. I need to prove myself, and that’s what keeps me wide awake at night. (Glad I figured it out, been denying this for quite sometime, but at least I got to admit it now). Feels good to be true to yourself. *another sigh*
Today also I felt half-empty, got to talk to some of my friends and that relieved my somewhat lunatic, not-so-depressed mood. :D I thank God for friends and family, most especially. They give me the reason to continue my fight in this cruel world.
Today, I am half filled, energy level = 70%, inspiration = 30% and a 101% for perspiration.
Got to work hard later, jaa GAMBATTE! Fighto oh!